My name is April May. No… my last name is not June so please spare me the jokes. As far as I can remember, everyone has called me Kia. I dont know the orgin of my nickname, but I was Kia before the car came along (or before we ever knew of it). I was born into a large family in the early 80s, tatay ko farmed a small sugar cane field. After the harvest each season, papa paid the landowner and there was little left over. Thus, we lived in a small one-room house, one of maybe a dozen families just like mine in the small barrio surrounded by fields. We didn’t have much, but we were happy.
I was a plain girl, lost in the middle of my many siblings. There was nothing really remarkable about me. I was flat-chested and skinny. I was (and still am) quiet and very shy. But that didn’t mean I had nothing to say, just that I didn’t feel like saying it. Actually, my mind is always turning, even if I don’t share my thoughts with anyone. I went through the motions while playing with my siblings and cousins, appearing pleasant if not joyful. It wasn’t until puberty when I realized I was bored. Just plain bored. I knew there was a whole world out there, and how I longed to see it.
A few years prior, one of the older girls in the barrio married a foreigner and left the country. I don’t know how they met, and I barely remembered her. So it was a surprising to hear talk in the barrio that she was coming home for a visit. Her family was naturally very excited. Then the day came when they arrived.
I was amazed by her husband, he was blonde with green eyes and an athletic build. He must have been over six feet tall. I couldn’t take my eyes off him! I climbed a tree behind our house and watched him. He was so sweet to his wife, holding her hand. He was very polite to her family as well. To me, he was the most perfect man on Earth. That thought actually surprised me, as I had only recently been noticing boys and having sexual feelings. It was all I could think about all day.
That night, while bathing at the water pump, I noticed that I felt “puffy” down there. As I washed, it didn’t feel the same as usual. It felt…. well… great, wonderful in fact. I shivered as my slippery fingers slid over my pussy lips inside my panty. Suddenly embarrassed, I glanced around quickly to make sure no one was near. Privacy was a rare luxury in those days. More comfortable now, I took much more time than necessary to “wash” puki ko. Exploring, I found my tinggil, something I had always realized was there, of course. But this time that special spot felt different, alive, even more sensitive and “full” feeling than before. It was as though I discovered it had a purpose! I also discovered the amazing feeling when my finger tip brushed across my small, puckered butt hole… Now I suddenly felt guilty, glanced around again, then rinsed off with the bucket and cup.
I went inside and to the tiny dressing room to change into dry panties, shorts and tee. Mama had an old, cracked mirror in there with blackened edges. I took a minute to check out my naked body before dressing. I noticed my hips and breasts, just slight curves but there. Maybe I wasn’t so plain. This was the first time I had ever been aroused simply by myself.
Later, laying in the darkness, I thought of my neighbor’s pogi young husband and quietly slipped my hand inside my shorts and yellow panty. I rubbed my pussy softly, pretending that my fingers were his. My nipples were poking my tee-shirt, like two little nubs pointing straight up. I felt them too. I felt so…. uhm…. kilig! But I also felt naughty and a little bit ashamed. My imagination, hormones and emotions were running wild! But I kept my head so no one would be aware of my activities. It was a LONG night.
For once, I felt like my own person; not someone’s daughter, sister, neice, cousin or neighbor… but me… Kia. A person with my own life, own desires, and own goals and dreams. And it felt great!